S“R” remarked on the lack of control we have. Twice all I have had for dinner is either tortillas or a version of a donut. Both times I haven’t had any food in my room to eat when I wake up during the night very hungry. Both times I have had a couple protein drinks to help stave the hunger off. This last time, I didn’t have much protein powder so I took a sleep aid to knock me out.
Many people in the States when being told to go to things want information. Where, when, how long, etc. Here in Nepal, we are told to come and are assumed to know all the details. Maybe there is flattery in there somewhere that we are so integrated in their culture, that we automatically know what is going on…but reality is that we can’t read minds and would like a little more information than “come”.
This brings me to my thoughts on trusting in Jesus for His direction. There have been multiple times in my life that all He has said is “come”. Maybe I’ve had a little more information on the direction He is taking me, but not much more than I have had here. There have also been times that I only have a certain amount of something and that is all I will have for a time - except to trust in Him. Certainly makes one think, eh?
I haven't really had issues when I go with Nepalis. I typically just find myself wishing I had been more prepared. Like when I went on an 8 hour hike without a water bottle or purification tablets… Or when I was expected to stay the night somewhere and I didn’t have my contacts supplies. Or when a volunteer decided we would hike straight up 30 minutes to a city and I didn’t have anything in my stomach… You get the idea!
When God tells us to “come” - He has prepared us or will equip us as we go. We just need to trust that He will come through. This is something I have been continually bringing to mind as my Peace Corps service comes to a close and I mentally prepare myself to go back to the States. Any time I begin thinking about things, God has taught me to turn it into a prayer. There are still times I need to make a conscience effort to lay my anxieties on Him and not take them back.
Right now, I’m not really sure about leaving. I’m ready to leave, but I feel like I should be expressing my (at times) overwhelming emotions than I am. When leaving for the earthquake, I didn’t cry until later and I’m concerned that’s what will happen again when everyone else may be crying. Something else I should turn over to the Lord, eh?
For those of you who don’t like expressing your emotions outwardly, this is probably a blessing! :) I don’t mind having outward expressions so the fact that they aren’t happening to the extent I feel like they should be makes me wonder what is going on with me…and now it comes back to trust. :) That’s really where it all comes down to anyways.
Do you trust that He will lead you? Do you trust that He has prepared you? Do you trust that He will equip you? Do you trust that He keeps His promises? Do you trust that He loves and doesn’t want to harm you? Do you trust in His Word? All these questions boil down to one - Do you really trust in God? Trust involves so much more than one facet. We can have a tendency to say “yes” to trusting someone, but when you really think about everything that trusting involves - you may discover that you trust them in some areas, but not all.
If you find that is the case, do you really trust them at all?