It all boils down to this - if my time in Nepal was over...It would be sad and hard to accept because of all the things I feel I have left incomplete. While leaving Nepal now or later on would be/has been hard, I'd feel better about it if I left after completing things. (For instance, I was unable to make a stove before I left. The bricks were made, but they weren't dry enough.) I also did not feel that I really got to say bye to everyone I wanted to due to the timing of other things that happened before I had to leave.
One of the encouraging things my volunteer friend said yesterday was this - "The impact on us is key to this experience, not necessarily what we teach." This is true. One of my verbal processing questions today was if I felt that the impact Nepal has had on me was finished. I of course can't say that for sure, but I do know that what I have learned about myself...I haven't necessarily applied it to my life in Nepal yet. I think it is important that I do that because I need to stay who I am regardless of where I am living.
My uncertainty of everything was actually kind of weird. The benefits of COS are nice, but not something I necessarily need. My service recognizing as officially closing (similar to an honorable discharge) rather than an ET (early termination) on my record will not matter with what I want to do with my life. Why not go back? If God leads me to something else in the middle of my service after I return - He's going to work it out so everything falls into place accordingly. Thus my decision on the survey they sent us was that I plan on coming back to Nepal.
I don't know when I will be returning...but I will be. :) Continue to keep Nepal and me in your prayers!