This morning I woke up really tired again, but I was in a little bit better of a space. I planned to work on my VSA and talk to a lady that knows what is going on with a lot of things in my VDC. I went to her house and her aunt reminded me that she was in the district capital for a 9 day training. She asked me to sit so I did and she began giving a little more details to what happened yesterday.
Apparently, there were 3 women involved as they were litnuing the road. A boulder fell on the head and killed one. The other two had injuries from other rocks and dirt coming on top of them. They are currently in the hospital of a bigger city. One lady is 21 and the other is around 50 years. One of my health post workers had to stitch up a head.
I was overcome with mourning for the families involved. I don’t like it when people are hurting. I thought I was handling the knowledge that I knew the husband of the wife who died, but after hearing there was more than happened…it took a bit for me to not start crying right there. All I wanted to do after hearing that was to go to my room, listen to music, and grieve for them.
It probably has not helped that my aunt and my friend’s sister have died since I have been in Nepal. The anniversary of my Gramma’s death is coming up and it has been in my thoughts as well. The interesting thing about this is yesterday during my morning devotions, I began to read the introductions of a few prophets. On my Facebook, I quote one of my leaders in YWAM on my heart for people that he saw.
As I write this, I don’t have internet access at the moment so I can’t quote it word for word. The gist of it is that I have a deep heart and love for people. It is the essence of who I am. This is why I became overwhelmed with emotions as I found out about people dying and injured. Amos means “burdened” or “burden bearer”. I have learned about myself that I take on what people are carrying so I am making sure that I turn those over to Jesus.
I have been praying, reading different Psalms, crying, and listening to music. After an hour or so, I began to feel my grief lift and thought it was a good idea to blog about this. I am learning to turn to Him in all things. God was not caught off guard by this. He prepared me before it happened by having me read about Amos and his ministry. Having that fresh in my mind, I recognized what I needed to do with my emotions and took the time to do so. (Even though I felt guilty about taking it.)
I’ll wrap up with where I started reading - Psalm 23.
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet water, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, the comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You amount my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.